i should make a new one
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped, executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates/Intel/AOL/Gap/Disney/ Nokia is going to give you and everyone you send the email to $1000? How stupid are you? In order for this ‘tracking of email forwards’ to be possible……
All internet email, no matter what the starting and finishing points, would have to pass through (or at least be registered at) a central point.
The Internet is not built around a central computer: there’s no ‘centre of the net’ which everything has to pass through. There can be no way to count how many times a message has moved from one person to another because there’s no collection-point for all the information/emails that get sent around the net. THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE INTERNET!!!
No company on this planet is going to give away anything beyond a 25 cent coupon for free!! Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and cut my tounge out in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends,and my lost dog in the CN Tower will somehow receive a nickel from some one-eyed dog loving billionaire in California " forwards about 90 times. I don’t fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Not are you only wasting space in my email box and the internet in general, your putting yours, mine and 50 of your closest friends names on a SPAM list. You know spam, the "Buy Viagra here" and "You’ve Won a Free Vacation!!" and "University Diplomas" emails you receieve from people you dont know. Spammers(The people who create these lists) get email address to send their adventisements to FROM EMAIL FORWARDS!!! Please think a little…. or at LEAST cut off all the other email address!!
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
All crap I NEVER want to see in my Inbox again!!!
—————– Chain Letter Type 1: ———————
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they’ll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
Wasn’t that fun?
Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here’s what I’ll do.
First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It’s true! Because, THIS letter isn’t like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Here’s how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
——————————-Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder – if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
——————————–Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way) They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
——————————–Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you’ve been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn’t speak much English…* no, sorry that’s the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don’t, you’ll never have sex ever again.
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it’s funny, send it on. If your not sure if it real or not… check on the net… go tohttp://www.urbanlegends.com/ to check.. they have every piece of crap ever sent out on the net there… and the truth behind them.
Don’t piss people off by making them feel GUILTY about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who’s been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you’ll end up like Miranda. Right?
>Hey it is Andy and John the directors of MSN, sorry for the
>msn is closing down. this is because too many inconsiderate people
>are taking up all the name (eg making up lots of different accounts
>one person), we only have 578 names left. If you would like to close
>account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. If you would like to keep your
>account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST.
>no joke, we will be shutting down the servers. Send it on, thanks.
>EVER DOES NOT SEND THIS MESSEAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND
>COST 10.00 A MONTH TO USE. SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT
>YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS or REPLAY. COPY THE
>EMAIL. GO BACK TO YOUR INBOX AND CLICK ON NEW. AND PASTE THANK YOU
Guys who have nothing descriptive in their profiles. Zero information. Usually something like.. "if you want to get to know me ask.. or I will fill this out later… Or Im not good at writing about myself.." WHo the frig IS good at writing about themselves… tell me about a week in the life of you.. tell me about your dog.. The fact you LOVE double stuffed Oreos and ONLY drink them with 2 percent milk… cause maybe i do too.. and now we have SOMETHING to work with…
2) you remind him of his ex;
3) He’s thirteen (yes, EVEN THOUGH his profile says he’s 27 and is a doctor who went to Ottawa U).